Surroundings

This year I was abruptly displaced from the peaceful surroundings on my home and was put into an atmosphere entirely different than what I have ever been accustomed to.

It is called 'riding the public transit' and 'college'.

Neither are enjoyable places, if one looks at the atmosphere alone. And I have often felt like complaining about my new surroundings. Indeed, I have complained, I suppose, and knowing myself, I have probably done so loudly and with great vigor. It is not a comfortable thing to be uprooted from homeschooling, then to go suddenly to college without the slightest idea of what to expect.

Indeed, I do enjoy college. I enjoy learning and (unfortunately) I enjoy getting stressed out about homework and turning down activities because of homework. This, I suppose, is another mindset I must soon rid myself of. But, I do enjoy learning. I strive to get straight A's and have been needlessly upset several times because of a grade that was lower than I wished, though perfectly enough to satisfy my insurance company.

At first I enjoyed riding the public bus. It is fascinating to watch people; I take great pleasure in watching people. Yet seeing them day...after day...after day...and learning everything that I do not want to know about their lives ("I am a pot-smoker and proud of it!" - Annoying Guy) and hearing the f-bomb thrown around so much that "crap" seems a tame word (that I have unfortunately come to use freely), does not make for a pleasurable atmosphere.

As with the college. "Hey, I was stammering because....I think you're pretty" or some guy just staring at me...all the time. That drives me nuts, and my other unfortunate habit has become thinking of all of the guys at the college as unworthy bums. I must stop calling them stupids - they are God's creations (just with a messed up mind right now) - set their minds on You, Lord.

So. One can say that my present surroundings are enough to make one go insane with negative thinking. To some extent, I have.

But it doesn't need to be that way.
What is reality? It's God. His Kingdom. His life, His love. To be sure, evil is just as real. But which reality do I live in? God's, of course.
See, It does not matter where I am. My surroundings are not relevant to who I am, or to who He is. I need to quit relying on my surroundings - I am where He has me, I'm in this place, He's put me here.
What's internal is more real, what's inside me is Him, who He is, His Kingdom. That is more important, more real, so therefore my surroundings are irrelevant. This is where He has me. This is where I stay until it's time to leave.

So what do I say? Do not feel down my soul, get up, remember Him, what He has done, who He is - He is all that matters. (Yes, more than straight A's. MUCH more.)

Praise God, He is good.

I've been very busy, hence my almost invisibility on my blog and very wishy-washyness of posting on the forum and once-a-week being able to chat on gtalk. I must get straight A's, to the best of my ability. But then, if I rely on my own strength all the time, isn't that pride? That is certainly another topic for later, and so I leave you now. Pray for me. It is a new challenge of life. That lasts for two years.

I will not complain, to the best of my ability. So help me God.